Thursday, September 16, 2010

I spoke too soon

So in a previous post I remarked that people seem to be dumber than a bucket of wet hair (or words to that effect) these days.

Man, was I ever optimistic!

Christine O'Donnell.  Ever heard of her?  No?  OK, a brief recap for those of you whose rocks you're living under don't get cable news channels.

Ms O'Donnell just won the Republican primary to run for the US Senate seat for Delaware.

OK, you ask, so what's the big deal?

Easy - Ms O'Donnell seems to make the aforementioned bucket of wet hair seem on the same level of IQ as Stephen Hawking.

That would be the guy with Lou Gherig's disease that has a greater IQ than most of the world combined.

Yes, that Stephen Hawking.

So what, I hear you ask, has Ms O'Donnell said that causes me to post about her?  I'm glad you asked!

You see, Ms O'Donnell (who, I understand, is single), appeared on a TV show many years ago (on MTV no less) and declared ... well, let me show you:

It basically boils down to "The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. So you can't masturbate without lust"

Only - what if your spouse is masturbating for you?  No, hang on guys, bear with me here!  If your spouse is masturbating you, are they committing adultery against you with you?  Is there a flowchart that goes with this logic that covers all the permutations?

(With the added bonus remark that "The reason that you don't tell them that masturbation is the answer to AIDS and all these other problems that come with sex outside of marriage is because again it is not addressing the issue. You're just gonna create somebody who is, I was gonna say, toying with his sexuality. Pardon the pun.", just for added impact).

Of course, one has to laugh at the irony of the single 41-year old Ms O'Donnell's parting shot from the clip: "If he already knows what pleases him and he can please himself, then why am I in the picture?"

OMG does she even have to ask???  You don't need to be Stephen Hawking to figure it out, lady!!!

So here's my question.  Do you remember those advertisements Hilary Clinton ran?

It’s 3am and your children are safe and asleep.
But there’s a phone in the White House and it is ringing.
something is happening in the world
your vote will decide who answers that call.
whether it is someone who already knows the world’s leaders,
knows the military
someone tested and ready to lead in a dangerous world.
its 3am and your children are safe and asleep. 
Who do you want answering that phone?

If you replied "an almost certainly sexually frustrated 41-year old woman who thinks masturbation is akin to adultery, thinks lying to the Nazis to protect Jews hiding in her house would have somehow been morally repugnant, and believes that God created the Universe and the Earth literally in 6 24-hour periods and thinks that it can be proven as fact using the scientific method", then we, the People, are seriously screwed.

What I don't understand is this: Why does the Tea Party insist on promoting people who would be more at home at the sort of tea party attended by Alice and the Cheshire Cat?  Are they really that hard-up for anti-establishment candidates?

Or is this just some cosmic joke and come November 2nd there'll be a special edition of The Colbert Report where Stephen turns around and says "Take that NASA for not listening to the popular vote for the name of your new module for the International Space Station!"?

Just sayin'

No comments:

Post a Comment